Episode starts at 5:09 after ads. This episode is so rich with the wisdom and experience of patiently working with very troubled people (ex-cons) to induce change in their lives.
6:40 [When working with marginalized people,] don't let it become about you...Foster and create a community of kinship. Paying attention and noticing others. It's not about how many people you "save."
8:21 Global homeboy is a network of 300 programs across US - love is the answer, community is the context, tenderness is the methodology. The solution to all the vexing social dilemmas starts with creating a safe place, and then people can come to terms with what was done to them, and what they've done.
10:01 everybody is unshakably good...we're all born wanting the same things...and we all belong to each other.
11:40 make progress in the good, and do what you can today to be as loving as you can be.
13:30 George Saunders: "kindness is the only non-delusional response to everything." Everything else is delusional, our righteousness, our "high horsiness," our cleverness, our fear, our terror at things changing. That's a good thing to work at with daily intention.
14:35 no I don't ever think this [program] is not going to work. [If it's true that hurt people hurt people, then it also has to be true ] that a cherished person is going to be able to find their way to the joy there is in cherishing themselves and others. [If they come through our system,] even if they leave, and start to get high again or go to jail...it doesn't matter, they got a dose [of cherishing] and they'll be back...they're all going to find their way. It's just a matter of time if they get enough of a dose of kindness and cherishing and tenderness.
15:30 With the homeboys, you're always trying to get them to a place where they see, especially in the excavation of their own wound and story, that they're the hero of their own story.
18:30 none of us are well until all of us are well; none of us are whole until all of us are whole. Wouldn't it change everything if our frame of reference was: Loving each other into wholeness.
5:55 Have the same response to both praise and blame. "Notice and return:" have the same response to praise and blame: You notice it, you lean into it, you're curious about it, but you don't cling to it. And you return to your true self and loving others.
18:55 Beginner's mind. A concept where you're always in a place where [the moment] is new. [Like an actor in] his four thousandth performance, and it feels like it's new. It's the illusion of the first time, they call it, in acting. You really want to have beginner's mind when you come to things. It's hard as you age, as you think you have wisdom, you want to catch yourself [and] say: This moment has never happened in the history of the world, and it'll never come again ever, no matter how much it feels like other moments. This is absolutely new.
21:18 I've learned how to deal with death... You have to put death in it's place. It doesn't mean you don't grieve...
23:18 my friend and spiritual director...runs a program where he's immersed in food insecurity...inhabited his role where he helps folks on the margins, all the while having this image of God that feeds me every day...the work he does is remarkable - is anchored in the God we have, not the God we settle for.
23:35 Everybody [alongside a former gang] enemy - folks they used to shoot at they're now making croissants together...puts a human face on your rival - you can't demonize people you know...something breaks down and there's a sameness.
24:37 We're invited to be inclusive, to take seriously what Jesus said about non-violence and lovingkindness. If your God is punitive and puny, you're going to be that. If your God is infinitely merciful and giving and loving and adoring of us, that's how you're going to treat others. It matters how you see these things, because it always shows up in how you treat others.
What 4 words would you say to someone? You are exactly right, you're exactly what God had in mind.
27:27 If your goal is to be happy you're not as sturdy as you think. Don't settle for happiness when you are being offered joy. Joy doesn't ask for return, it's just out there, it's just loving for being loving.
It's not about success. That divides people into good people and bad people. It's not about the measurable and the evidence-based outcomes... Is about dosing and living. And what happens when you cherish people is that you can watch them inhabit a sturdier getting. Now the world will throw whatever it will at them and they won't be toppled because they're sturdy.
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