A useful episode making the distinction between (@44:04) "expressive complaining" and "instrumental complaining," the latter of which complains to the root source of the problem.
(@23:43) "as [complaining] went up, their feelings of anger also went up and their feelings of hope went down [hence] forgiveness went down, and as hope goes up, forgiveness goes up...we found that the more that employees talked about unfairness, the less likely they were to forgive the supervisor for any unfair actions."
Complain to someone who emphasizes an internal locus of control - you need to fix this problem, not some outside entity.
(@39:48) "when we are complaining, we are increasing the extent to which we see things with an external locus of control. We are essentially saying, the world happens to me and there's nothing I can do about it. When we talk to somebody who reframes [rather than just commiserating], they're helping us give us that internal locus of control, helping us see that we are an agent, that there are ways to move forward to fix the situation."
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