"There but for the grace of God—goes God." —Winston Churchill[1]
"If I could just say a few words… I'd be a better public speaker." —Homer Simpson[11]
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it." —Groucho Marx[14]
"I like going to the park and watching the children run around because they don't know I'm using blanks." —Emo Philips[14]
"I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long." —Mitch Hedberg[8][15]
"I sleep eight hours a day...and at least ten at night." —Bill Hicks[8]
"I don't belong to an organized political party. I'm a Democrat." —Will Rogers[16]
"On the other hand...you have different fingers." —Steven Wright[10]
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